Puerto Vallarta, 2011

We just returned from our week-long journey to the land of the drug cartels. After narrowly dodging terrorists in September while in Europe I felt like I needed a bit more action in our life and so we headed south to dodge cocaine, bullets and a very bright sun.  It was wonderful. 

Before we left Seattle Kip struck up a deal:  If I dealt with poopy diapers for the entire trip he'd watch Allie and Maddie on the airplane down and up.  Sounds too good to be true right?  Well, we all can guess how that one went... If it's too good to be true it is.  I got poopy diapers and a lap baby both directions.  Aunt Sonja had the privilege of drawing Dora and answering a million questions from Maddie on the way down (and up). What can I say? I am an environmentalist.  Think of all of the garbage I'm keeping out of the landfills by providing solid birth control. I know, she definitely owes me.  (and an apology in advance to all of her future boyfriends)

Actually both girls did quite well on the flights.  Allie took about a 30 minute nap each direction.

I've gone through all of our pictures but let me tell you, there was 1100 of them so this post is only a fraction of the trip.  Here is Allie pulling her new Dora suitcase that Nonna got her. It's STUFFED with distraction toys. 

Maddie was very excited to go to Mexico to swim in the pool.  As soon as we got to the airport she wanted to get into the pool.  She couldn't WAIT to get to the condo to swim.  So of course and soon as we got there she was distracted by a swing.

Allie loved it too.  As long as you didn't actually push her or lose contact with her.

She did discover her love for balancing on things though.  This tree, a sidewalk curb...nothing was safe from this little Mary Lou Retton.

And no one was safe from the SHARK ZONE...

Our first night Allie fell into the pool.  I don't know which was worse for her...the fact that it was an unexpected fall or that it was COLD.  It took us another five days before she really got back in and then (yup, you guessed it) she wouldn't get back out.  She probably jumped in about 3000 times.  Fortunately Allison (Sam's girlfriend) has a ton of patience and lifted her out and caught her 2,999 of those jumps. Hey, I help out when I can.

Despite looking like a very uncomfortable squished "Fria Frijole" Allie actually almost fell asleep.  I think she trusted Nonna's life guarding skills.  We didn't tell her that Nonna doesn't swim. 

So, back to the original paragraph.  When Kip and I went to Paris in September we were interviewed by the news on what we were going to do about the whole terror threat.  I vowed that I was going to be hyper-vigilant and steer clear of anybody suspicious.  Yup, I was a self-admitted profiler.  When 8 armed people walked by me I completely failed to notice them.  On this trip I vowed that the only true thing I wanted to dodge was a sunburn so I was going to keep my butt parked at the pool.  But peer pressure gets me every time!  I ventured into the freaking Mexican jungle to go zip-lining.  Halfway through our windy van ride through some crazy (unpopulated) roads I decided it would be a good time to practice my "I'm Dead" slump.  I had a panic attack that no one, until know, knew about.  But then I chilled and flung myself off an 800' cliff with some Mexican harness and cable instead.

I think the bandannas were supposed to prevent the spread of lice or something from our helmets.  Fortunately they were not washed between uses and sat in a super clean basket on the floor so the threat was minimal.

After narrowly escaping death on our van ride, and then the zip line I was then pressured again to slide down a tall freaking water slide into a river (in my undies no less). 

Kip is very proud of his graceful entry so please give him some props.

And I totally meant to look like I was flailing and out of control.  After sitting at the top of the slide for 3 minutes trying to muster up the courage to actually go I felt like I needed to put on some sort of show.

And back to the girls...who we're supposed to be focusing on. We went on a lot of sunset beach and boardwalk walks.

Allie kept confusing the Spanish term "Malecone" (boardwalk) with Mardi Gras.  The only similarity being that they begin with an M and girls like to raise their shirts.  We only rewarded her with macaroons though.

Uncle Sam turned 19 on this trip.  He was rewarded with a stingray sting. And looked totally tough for his girlfriend as he soaked his foot in tupperware.

Allie loved to watch the para-sailers.  So did I.  In hindsight I think she liked the pretty rainbow colors whereas I was hoping they'd screw up and land in the water.  After many failed attempts at this happening I finally tried to get Kip to go up and intentionally screw up. He wouldn't do it. Way to take one for the team Kip.

And now we're home enjoying our 46 degree rainy Monday.